==>
JOHN: this is really dumb
JOHN: why is everything SO SHITTY.
JOHN: this isn't how any of this happened, you idiot!
JOHN: hey, where do you think you're going! i'm not going to stand by while you mangle our story like this!
JOHN: augh, these stairs are so terrible! how are these even stairs?!
JOHN: wait!
JOHN: fuck!!
JOHN: oh my god. this door is DOG SHIT.
JOHN: wait!!!
JOHN: ugh. you're all such morons!
JOHN: welp.
JOHN: guess it's time to saddle up.
JOHN: why the hell not.
JOHN: this is literally the suckiest horse i have ever seen in my life.
JOHN: whatever.
JOHN: GIDDYUP!
JOHN: YA! YAHHH!!! FLY, SHIT BISCUIT! FLY!!!
JOHN: NO, YOU DUMBASS! NOT THIS WAY!
JOHN: GO DOWN!
JOHN: DOWN I SAY!!!
VIKING
JOHN: WOAH FELLA! WATCH OUT FOR THAT HELICOPTER!
JOHN: AND THAT ROCKET SHIP!
JOHN: AND THAT, UH...
JOHN: ROW OF SKY VIKINGS!
JOHN: YES, GO THIS WAY! DOWN!! GOOD HORSE!!!
SUPER PERSON
JOHN: YEE HAW! ALMOST THERE!
JOHN: WAIT... HORSE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!
JOHN: OH GOD. WE'RE GONNA CRASH!
SKELETON
JOHN: BOGUS ROXY, WATCH OUT! WE'RE GONNA CRAAAAAAAAASH!
JOHN: um...
JOHN: very slowly, it would seem.
JOHN: sorry, bogus roxy. i will try to make it up to you.
JOHN: um. the real you, i mean.
JOHN: oh hell no. this bozo is still at it.
drop
> THE ALPHA MALE IS ACCOS-
JOHN: no, stop! they're brother and sister you gross freak!!!
JOHN: aaarggh. no. NO! i don't care HOW bogus they are!
JOHN: i won't...
JOHN: let you make...
JOHN: dave and rose...
JOHN: KISS!!!!!!!!!!
JOHN: THAT'S ENOUGH! I CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE OF YOUR SHITTY STORY! IT'S SO UGLY AND STUPID AND IT'S MAKING ME MAD!!!
JOHN: RAAA- -AARRR- -UAARRAAUUAGHAAUAUUGHGAARRUAUAGHUUUAAAUAGGGGAAUHHGH!
JOHN: AND ANOTHER THING! WHY DON'T YOU LEARN TO RESPECT GIRLS BETTER?!
JOHN: YOU'RE JUST MAKING THEM FOLLOW DAVE AROUND LIKE A BUNCH OF IDIOTS! THE ONLY THING YOU'RE LETTING THEM DO IS KISS THE BOY WHENEVER HE DOES SOMETHING BRAVE!
JOHN: THAT'S SO LAME! ALL THESE GIRLS HAD THEIR OWN COOL ADVENTURES! DON'T YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU'RE DOING HERE MAKES YOU A WEIRD CREEP???
JOHN: I'M GONNA FUCKIN KILL YOU!!!!!!!!
