trickdirktxts (Tricksters Jane, Jake, Roxy and... Dirk?)

(This is a mix of regular story text and words transcribed from inline images)

[S] ==>

ARQUIUSPRITE: shaDes --> E%cuse me, you there
ARQUIUSPRITE: shaDes --> Unsavory concoction of royalty and peasantry
ARQUIUSPRITE: shaDes --> Come grope my humongous biceps
ERISOLSPRITE: no bloody wway.
ARQUIUSPRITE: shaDes --> Yes, do it
ERISOLSPRITE: equiiu2 wwhy are you actiin liike 2uch a bulge2niiffiin twwolbox wwhat the hell happened twwo you?
ERISOLSPRITE: and wwhy are you wweariin that guy2 lame gla22e2. take tho2e off evven you had more 2tyle than that.
ARQUIUSPRITE: shaDes --> Alright, no takers there I see. Only a pair of grotesque philistines blustering through the same coarse ignorance tunnel
ARQUIUSPRITE: shaDes --> What about you, miss unpalatable combination of Feferi and
ARQUIUSPRITE: shaDes --> And
ARQUIUSPRITE: shaDes --> Oh no
FEFETASPRITE: 3833 < 38o
ARQUIUSPRITE: shaDes --> Dirk
ARQUIUSPRITE: shaDes --> Dirk, help, I'm having a problem
DIRK: What??
ARQUIUSPRITE: shaDes --> A part of me is having a very STRONG emotional reaction which I don't like
ARQUIUSPRITE: shaDes --> It's a part of myself I'm ashamed of
DIRK: What part.
ARQUIUSPRITE: shaDes --> The troll part. It did something shameful once
ARQUIUSPRITE: shaDes --> I do not find such emotions to be an acceptable feature of my new e%istence
ARQUIUSPRITE: shaDes --> How can I make this feeling go away
ARQUIUSPRITE: shaDes --> Dirk, I command you to instruct me how to eliminate these emotions
DIRK: Can't help you bro!
DIRK: This is what you asked for. You said you were scared to not exist.
DIRK: Well, this is what it's like to keep on existing. Better figure out how to deal!
ARQUIUSPRITE: shaDes --> No. That's awful
ARQUIUSPRITE: shaDes --> I don't know what to do
ARQUIUSPRITE: shaDes --> With all of my astounding STRENGTH, both muscular and cerebral, how can I be stymied so?
ARQUIUSPRITE: shaDes --> Dying was better than having to live with the shame which was ironically caused by the very death in question
ERISOLSPRITE: equiiu2 wwhat the FUCK are you talkiing about.
ARQUIUSPRITE: shaDes --> You, seadwelling mustard b100d
ARQUIUSPRITE: shaDes --> Half of me commands the peasant half of you to resolve my emotional turmoil, while humbly requesting the noble half of you to do the same
ARQUIUSPRITE: shaDes --> The other half of me doesn't give a flying hoot about your lame caste bulls‑‑t and is just kind of freaking out internally about this
ERISOLSPRITE: ehehehe wwoww zahhak you miight actually be more a me22 than me, ii am fuckiin iimpre22ed.
ERISOLSPRITE: but yeah talkiin iit out wwhen you got aiim2 a reconciiliiatiion help2, me and the feferii 2iide a thii2 abomiinatiion had a niice talk earliier, 2orta.
ERISOLSPRITE: 2ay wwhat you got twwo 2ay, ju2t dont me22 wwiith the feferii part2 twwo much ok man? 2he2 vvery dear to me, ii mean both part2 a me got iit?
ARQUIUSPRITE: shaDes --> You're right, I must speak to her
ARQUIUSPRITE: shaDes --> Nepeta, I swore that I would protect you, but I failed
ARQUIUSPRITE: shaDes --> In a moment of weakness my reverence for a superior got the better of me, and instead of standing up for you I decided to bow before a stupid f‑‑‑‑‑g juggalo or something? What?
ARQUIUSPRITE: shaDes --> Wait, I actually did that? What the fresh nickering h‑‑l is WRONG with me?
FEFETASPRITE: 38(( < 38\
ARQUIUSPRITE: shaDes --> I am not a perfect man, Nepeta. Nor am I "purrfect" as you might say. What the fudge? A cat pun? Let's pull our s‑‑t together dude, this emotional state is mad abysmal
ARQUIUSPRITE: shaDes --> But in any case, I hope you can find it within your kind olive pump biscuit to... forgive...
ARQUIUSPRITE: shaDes --> GOSH DANGIT! I don't deserve to be forgiven, what am I saying! The s‑‑t I pulled on you was so bad... I just can't even...
ERISOLSPRITE: hey can you maybe wwrap up thii2 p2ychotiic apology you wwretched freak. wwoww youre actually makiin me look liike the model a mental health.
ERISOLSPRITE: anywway youre confu2iin the feferii 2iide of her wwiith your wweiird emotiional baggage.
ARQUIUSPRITE: shaDes --> Allow me to finish, sir/peon
ERISOLSPRITE: feferii try not twwo lii2ten twwo anythiin he 2ay2.
ERISOLSPRITE: youvve had enough heartache twwo endure wwiithout lumpiing iin nepeta2 twwii2ted relatiion2hiip wwiith thii2 hor2ekii22iin mu2clefuck.
ARQUIUSPRITE: shaDes --> Nepeta, you will disregard any conversation directed at Feferi and focus solely on my attempted statements of contrition
ERISOLSPRITE: man wwhat riight do you havve to order nepeta to do ANYTHIN, let alone lii2ten to your confliicted wwhiiniing?
ERISOLSPRITE: heheh, fef can you BELIIEVVE thii2 guy??
ARQUIUSPRITE: shaDes --> Do not address Feferi while I'm talking Nepeta
ARQUIUSPRITE: shaDes --> It's confusing to Nepeta, who is critical in absolving me of guilt, even though I probably don't deserve it?
ERISOLSPRITE: fuck your ab2olutiion ii take back my advviice.
ERISOLSPRITE: 2top talkiin twwo nepeta and LEAVVE FEFERII ALONE.
ERISOLSPRITE: augh im not doin your dumba22 ye2/no 2hit!!
ARQUIUSPRITE: shaDes --> Then leave us, for I and my morail have much to discuss
ERISOLSPRITE: no you fliippiin DONT, thii2 conver2atiion ii2 over.
ARQUIUSPRITE: shaDes --> Yes I do
ERISOLSPRITE: no you dont.
ARQUIUSPRITE: shaDes --> Yes
ARQUIUSPRITE: shaDes --> Yes
ARQUIUSPRITE: shaDes --> Yes