Meenahquest, Part 1 (transcript and walkthrough)

Use the arrow keys or WASD to move, and space to interact.

You got a GOLD TIARA!

You have no intention of wearing this thing, but it doesn't hurt to start stockpiling loot again. Now that you're dead, you're finding yourself a little light on collateral, if you know what I'm saying.

#bling #carats #jackpot

You got a DOUBLE TRIDENT!

You already have one of these. But there ain't nothing wrong with stowing a little more SOLID GOLD in your inventory. You got an extravagant ghost sea princess lifestyle to maintain.

#GOLD #$$$$$ #booyeah

You got a DIRTY OLD FEDORA!

Totally useless. This nasty trash isn't coming anywhere close to your head. Doesn't even have horn holes. Looks like something an archaeologist would wear. You wonder whose memory this is?

#hornless troll indiana jones hat

You rebubble the memory to your followers without really thinking ahead. It has no conceivable relevance to anyone who follows your feed, and everyone wonders why they're even bothering to read this shit. A few people who were on the fence about you quietly unfollow your bubblr feed. The horrorterrors thank you for contributing to the entropy of the afterlife.

You got some ANCIENT SERPENT BONES!

Again, a strange thing to find. Who here would have a memory of these? Huge prehistoric green serpents have always played a major role in your people's mythology, both before and after your session scratched. Of course, only people with an interest in ancient lore and dusty old bones give a crap about that. You're much more interested in their monetary value. Hopefully you can find a sucker to pay up for them big time.

#where's the prawn shop in this bitch

You rebubble the memory and almost instantly regret it. But now it's just sitting there on your feed, already racking up 'likes', 'hates', and additional rebubbles. You wish you hadn't, but now it's out there. Popping the bubble now would make you look wishywashy to your followers.

You got some BOONDOLLARS!

It's not much, but you pocket the loot without a second thought. The bankroll's been a little slack since you died, and every bit helps on your climb back to obscene wealth.

#ka ching #broke

You got a SCALEMATE PLUSH!

#pyralspite

Holy shit. You are never going to stop hugging this thing. Ever.

#highly desirable merchandise

You got a BRONZE POTION!

This stuff is supposed to make you kiss good, with side effects of mild to total paralysis. Wait a minute... isn't this just some troll blood? Oh yuck.

#you throw it off a cliff

You got a thing of MOTOR OIL!

Hey, this bottle even has the label intact! Typically the label is ripped off and applied to chalk murals. The fact that it still has a label makes it much more valuable as a collector's item. Always gotta be mindful of the cash value of the useless shit you find in chests.

#P.S. #you take a little sip #it tastes awful

Wait. You hear something nearby.

Is...

Is that...

Sobbing?

#????

You got a BLOODY CHERUB TOOTH!

The fact that this is in a chest here is kind of disturbing to you in ways you can't really explain. You think you'll try to sell this thing to the highest bidder as soon as possible.

#or whoever makes the first offer

You got a BOONBUCK!

Now we're talking. This should get your broke ass off the canvas. It's such a crime that the insane fortune you accumulated in your game doesn't persist after you die. You guess it's true, you really can't take it with you to the other side.

#but once you're there #you can try to make it back in a FUCKING HURRY

You got a JUJU!

An EFFIGY, to be precise. It has magical properties binding it to the mortality of someone, depending on what hat it wears. Hey, maybe you'll hang it from this tree? Nah, that's a bit morbid.

#you'll just hock it to some chump

You got a bunch of THROWING STARS!

Whoa these are badass. Maybe you'll keep a few instead of selling them all.

#unless someone blows you away with an offer of course

You got a pair of TIME TABLES!

Use these to travel through time. Which in the furthest ring, doesn't always mean much. Traveling back in time could also transport you millions of lightsweeps away. Probably better to just sell them to an eccentric billionaire.

#ooh, like that kid across the water there! #you bet he's loaded

You got an ECHIDNA STATUE!

An obviously not-to-scale depiction of the denizen Aranea consulted with to learn how to scratch your session. The decision to scratch of course came with MAJOR CONSEQUENCES, and you guess it's only now that the true extent of those consequences are fully apparent. Looks like it's time to clean up her mess.

#oh, also you can probably make BANK off this thing

You rebubble the memory. It's a huge hit! People give you a big pat on the back for rebubbling this content, and you essentially reap more credit and recognition for the content than the original author of the memory. It's a great feeling, riding the coattails of other people's interesting memories to skyrocket in stature among your followers. This must be how clever people with real accomplishments feel ALL THE TIME!

You rebubble the memory, and it is almost universally loathed. You lose half your followers in the blink of an eye. Better be more careful. When your follower count drops to zero in the afterlife, your soul dies forever.

You got the THORNS OF OGLOGOTH!

Any sane adventurer would cast these instruments of the occult into the furthest ring and forget they ever existed. And... it looks like someone did just that?

#a wise move

You got a copy of COMPLACENCY OF THE LEARNED!

Wow this looks really... huh? It just disappeared from your hand in a crazy blur. What the... oh, that human girl has it. She looks like she's enjoying it a lot more than you ever would. You'll let her have this one.

#probably wasn't worth jack anyway

You decide to rebubble the memory, but before you send it out into the abyss, you radically alter the content of the memory, for the lulz. A whole lot of people consider the memory to be lulzworthy as well without realizing it's been altered, and they rebubble it thousands of times. The lie has officially been rebubbled enough to qualify as truth. The elder gods smile upon your misdeeds.

You rebubble the memory thinking it will bring you joy. But it doesn't. No matter how many memories you like or hate or rebubble, you are always left with an empty feeling in your soul. Like your existence is truly as meaningless as one would expect it to be out in the middle of an endless void amidst colossal hideous monsters. Why do you do this to yourself? And yet, you cannot stop...

You rebubble the memory and immediately spark a flame war among others who rebubble it. They chime in to the memory, adding their two boonpennies. The hostile rhetoric begins to pile up, and soon you try to trace the argument from the beginning in a linear fashion. But you can't. It is pure chaos, as the bubbles have hopelessly dispersed throughout the ring, reducing any coherence the argument once had into shrieking white noise. The dark gods enjoy another small victory over order and reason.

You rebubble it while appending a sassy editorial remark to the content. But the joke doesn't go over too well, and people start calling you out on it. You decide to pop the bubble and put it to rest before it really embarrasses you. But later people dredge up old bubbles containing their memories of your rebubbled memory, and throw it back in your face. That rebubble may come back to haunt you again and again until the day your soul dies, which sadly, may be never.

You got a SEWING MACHINE!

Oooooh this looks REALLY expensive, you bet you could... wait. What's she looking at? The Maryam girl is looking at you funny. What, is this thing hers? You don't want to start any trouble over this dumb gizmo. You slowly put it back in the chest, very casually like it ain't no thing.

#you'll come back and swipe it later when she's not around

You got a FUCHSIA POTION!

Legend says this enchanted potion is supposed to - oh GOD it's more troll blood. Wait this is ROYAL blood. What an absolute outrage that probably some commoner had the audacity to draw royal blood. You are ALMOST mad enough not to not give a shit.

#you chuck it over the edge #glass shatters #someone below says 'ow'

You got a JUJU!

What's up with all these jujus lying around? Jujus are very wide ranging sorts of magical objects. You never know what form they'll take. This one is particularly useless though. It has the power to travel through time. Into the future only, though.

#at exactly one second per second

You got a DERSITE TABLOID!

Says some human girl is dead. You don't recognize her. Inside is the usual kind of sensationalizing sleaze you're used to seeing from these. You spent a long time on Derse during your game. You always enjoyed reading these. They were almost always about assassinations.

#some of which were yours

You got a RIBBITAR!

Foes everywhere tremble at the mere sight of this lethal amphibious scourge. So overwhelming is their terror that... ha ha, yeah right. This sword is almost too ridiculous for words. It's a nice conversation piece though.

#aw shit is that made of ruby??? #COME TO MAMA

You rebubble the memory and... yes!!! People LOVE this memory. It's scoring more likes than anything you've ever bubbld! You bask in your popularity for a few days, until it all dies down. And then... nothing. A familiar feeling of emptiness returns. It is the perpetual existential malaise of the afterlife, and a nearby horrorterror feasts off your psychic despair. The hideous beast balloons to twice its former size, and issues a deep gurgle of ecstasy.

You rebubble a memory and it is extremely well received by your followers. You're on a roll here. You've been rebubbling on all cylinders lately, and it's been attracting quite a lot of attention. You have more followers than you know what to do with. Keep it up! If you can manage to get everyone in the afterlife to follow you, the dark gods will grant you the boon of resurrection.

You rebubble the memory and are about to get on with your day, when you notice something weird in your feed. It seems like a spamghost has hacked your soul, and has been rebubbling weird advertisements to your followers for the last... 50 MILLION SWEEPS??? This is a disaster. You have almost no followers left. Most of the ads are for gross horrorterror porn and flagella erectile medication. ugh

You got a WHOLE STACK OF BOONDOLLARS!

Keep em coming! You'll be rich again in no time. Pretty soon you'll own this place. Right after you save it from destruction, of course.

#how does this factor into the big silly tumblr metaphor #shrug

You got a WHOLE HEAP OF BOONDOLLARS!

#mo money #3B)

Some of these messages don't really make sense unless you're being Meenah, but you're not going to let that bother you.

#DWI

You got a RAGRIPPER!

A popular model from the DEMONBANE line of chainsaws. At least, it was popular on Alternia. Your planet wasn't nearly badass enough for this thing to be sold legally. Beforus was so lame.

#lame planet #lame planet names

You got a JUJU!

Looks like a magic EGG TIMER, which you can use to travel through time, haphazardly and stupidly. It's the type of item that's severely prone to making a mess of the timeline. Need a JUJU BREAKER to destroy such an item and repair the damage it's done. But that kind of thing is extremely rare-to-non-existent. You don't have a single good guess what form such an item could take.

#ok you pried one hint out of me #the number 7

You got some AUTHENTIC RELIGIOUS MEMORABILIA!

These were the doodads adult post-scratch Vantas was chained up with when he died. You bet Serket would fork over a ton of gold for this junk. Religious nuts are some of the biggest suckers around.

#irons #sufferer #authentic #(or as authentic as phantom ghost memory items get)

You got a PAIR OF HORNS!

This is the most ridiculous thing you've ever seen. Why would anyone want to wear a second pair of horns? Unless maybe they were compensating for a particularly nubby pair... oh, you got it! Humans wear these to pretend to be trolls, and also be less stupid looking. These clearly belonged to a human.

#case closed

You got a LANCE!

Who's memory is this? This thing has really made the rounds. Let's see, Tavros had it, but then was impaled by it. The Black Queen had it, and used it as a cigarette holder sometimes, when she was Snowman. Spades Slick wielded it while riding around on a horse hitcher once. Snowman killed Quarters with it, you think. That happened in the top banner though, so you might have missed it...

#meenah has no idea what we're talking about

You got a SUFFERER PENDANT!

Exhibiting the Sign of the Signless. The story of the Sufferer got really popular among your old crew as a kind of religious fad, after everyone died and learned the stories of their post-scratch lives. Aranea especially seems to have bought into this nonsense hook line and sinker. She never wore anything like that around her neck BEFORE she died. You wonder if people have gotten so into it just to bug Vantas? You just know it probably pisses him off, seeing people wear this thing all the time.

#heheh #now that you think of it #maybe you'll wear one too

Hey, it's shouty! But it looks like he's severely embroiled in a really heavy discussion with your team's Vantas. You really don't feel like getting involved.

Listen in on conversation?

#eavesdropping #rude

Oops. That memory you just rebubbld was in violation of the furthest ring's content policy. The administrators (horrorterrors) have suspended your soul and you are now blocked from rebubbling memories (unless you really want to).

You got a PRETZELED HORSE HITCHER!

Who could have done this to such a fine, cast iron steed? Whoever it was must have been incredibly strong, incredibly smug, and incredibly floppy when shaken.

#an incredible host

You got a TROLL ROMANCE NOVEL!

Wow, this sure is some steamy, trashy literature here. It's making you perspire a little, and you're only three sentences into the title. Doesn't seem like anyone's looking. Maybe you'll just take one little peek insi... Whoops, it just disappeared in a blur again. God damn it.

#LAAAAALOOOOONDE!!!!!!!!!!

You got a MAGIC CUE BALL!

Hey, is this thing a juju too? It's a shame you can't see through its surface, or you'd be able to ask it yourself. This is another thing that's kind of unnerving to find here. Good thing it's only a memory object, right?

#right #... #maybe

You got a REGISICKLE!

Perfect for threshing royalty with. You could almost say you could use it to... thresh princes.

#troll will smith

You got a bunch of LICORICE SCOTTIE DOGS!

Oh man, these were a DELICACY on your planet. The most valuable treat per-pound by far. You have to be a very, very wealthy person to keep a great supply of these on hand. By selling these, you should be able to make most of your fortune back in one fell swoop!!!!!

#except you just ate most of them #worth it

You rebubble the memory but before you do... YOU SHIT ALL OVER IT! You really rip into the original author of the memory, and treat it to a scathing review. You don't have much to say that's original, and you don't feel very good about yourself, so you might as well base your entire afterlife presence on hostile smear tactics to get attention for yourself that you would struggle to attract otherwise. The horrorterrors refer to you as The Chosen One, and fantasize about you when they copulate.

You accidentally rebubble this memory to the wrong feed. It turns out to be badly off topic, and you lose a couple followers. You immediately dispatch another bubble specifically to tell them to go fuck themselves.

You rebubble this memory and forget to tag it. All of your followers are severely triggered by its content. You can hear their tortured moans all the way from triggered soul purgatory, which is in the belly of an enormous beast that is so wretched, if you even glance at it, tears instantly come gushing out of your eye sockets, form a liquid boot, and kick you in the crotch.

You got LATULA'S FOUR WHEEL DEVICE!

#AWWW YEAH #WHAT'S UP GAMERS

The door is locked. It appears to be guarding someone's private memories. Looks like it needs a password. You wonder who locked it?

#mysterious symbol #a clue #bonus hint: #it's karkat

It's a little dream bubble. But it does not contain your memory. Only Porrim can see what's inside.

#sorry

You rebubble this memory and one guy who follows you decides to be a huge pain in the ass for some reason. He baits you into a publicly rebubbled argument which lasts all day. When it's finally over, you look back at the meaningless exchange and ask yourself "what am I doing with my life?" By which of course you mean death.

You rebubble this memory and it receives many comments. None of the comments appear to be made by people who have had any education whatsoever.

It's a little dream bubble, containing one of your memories. You look inside.

The memory is from right here, on Prospit. You spent a great deal of time there during the long sweeps of your session. You remember this little precipice well.

But... wasn't there a staircase here? You are almost positive there were stairs.

Where do you think YOU'RE going! This is Meenah's interactive quest through the afterlife. You can only leave this area if you're being her!

#nice try

You rebubble this memory, and no one understands it at all. People say things that are so ignorant, you want to go curl up into a tiny ball and pray for a swift second death.

Be Meenah?

You rebubble this memory, and it gets almost no likes OR hates. People seem to have no opinion about it at all. Which is actually the worst imaginable outcome. It is a fate 10 times worse than death, and 100 times worse than second death.

Congratulations! That was the rebubble that pushed you over the edge. You are now OFFICIALLY BUBBLR FAMOUS!

You got a 2010 SPIRITED HORSE CALENDAR!

You flip through it and... yep. Hearts Boxcars is still farming all those goddamn horses.

#fuckin pain in the red cheeks

This leads to the end of the game. Are you sure you're done here?

That's the end. Continue playing on the next page.