- * click the control icons in the top-right
-
Use ARROW KEYS (or WASD KEYS) to walk and SPACEBAR to interact.
- * stride STRONGLY up the steps to your west
-
You cannot go off looking for the highb100d just yet. You must make sure Nepeta is somewhere safe.
- * there are broken bows and glasses of milk all over the floor... find one (and press SPACE)
-
> Examine broken bow.
Archery is SO HARD when you're THIS STRONG.
> Drink milk.
- * (it smashes)
-
Fiddlesticks.
- * in the southwest corner of the room
-
> Open chest.
You got a FRESH TOWEL!
- * against the north wall
-
> Examine robo-pile.
A gratifying heap of soundly thrashed roboti%. Standing near this pile stirs powerful emotions. The closer you stand to piles of stuff, the more freely the feelings flow. It is a law of reality.
> Open chest.
You got a HEAP OF FRESH TOWELS!
- * there are two accessible posters
-
> Examine fine art.
This piece is simply called Edward. It is so beautiful.
> Examine fine art.
Legends tell of musclebeasts once roaming the cosmos that were so enormous, they could destroy entire planets with but a twitch of any anatomical feature. Are the legends true?
You hope so.
- * in the northeast corner
-
> Open door.
This is no time to retire. Gotta go after the clown.
- * and in the southeast corner
-
> Open chest.
CON AIR
You got EMERGENCY BACKUP ABSORBENCY UNIT!
- * your moirail in the center of the room needs your attention
-
> Talk about Aradia.
NEPETA: :33 < *a furrocious and concerned moirail suddenly appurrches out of some wild shrubberies!!!*
EQUIUS: D --> I regard the furrocious moirail stoically
EQUIUS: D --> I mean
EQUIUS: D --> I greet Ms. Leijon without issuing a statement of a%ion in the first person
NEPETA: :33 < *ms leijon pawnders over whether mr zahhak is still feeling blue over his depurrted robo sw33heart and n33ds more ch33ring up*
EQUIUS: D --> Mr Zahhak, I mean I, will probably be feeling b100 about that for some time, yes
EQUIUS: D --> But he is, darn it, I am, e%ceptionally STRONG and will cope with it admirably
EQUIUS: D --> Even though
EQUIUS: D --> She didn't even say goodbye for some reason
NEPETA: :33 < aww :((
NEPETA: :33 < we can always curl up in the pile again to talk about f33lings :33 EQUIUS: D --> Nepeta, for goodness sa%es, a man can only di%uss feelings for so much time
EQUIUS: D --> How long have we already spent in the roboti% pile
NEPETA: :33 < ummmmmmmmmmm
EQUIUS: D --> I believe it was at least an hour
EQUIUS: D --> We e%amined my emotional state until we were both bl00 in the face
NEPETA: :33 < h33h33h33h33!
EQUIUS: D --> What
NEPETA: :33 < b100 b100 b100 b100 b100
NEPETA: :33 < i just love how you say that word!
EQUIUS: D --> I know
> Talk about Gamzee.
EQUIUS: D --> Nepeta, I think it would behoove us to address the e%treme danger in a serious manner
NEPETA: :33 < you mean about gamz33? h33h33!
NEPETA: :33 < im still not sure if i can believe it!
EQUIUS: D --> That's because you still refuse to 100k upon our b100dlines as the deciding behoovioral factors they are
NEPETA: :33 < behoovioral? :??
EQUIUS: D --> Behavioral
EQUIUS: D --> Sorry, my heart is galloping and I canter nunciate properly
EQUIUS: D --> The horst case scenario is upon us
NEPETA: :33 < *snort* X33
EQUIUS: D --> His is the richest and most noble b100d possible among the high land dwellers
EQUIUS: D --> As such, he is prone to being more violent and unpredictable than any of us
EQUIUS: D --> Not everyone has been as lucky as I in the domain of moirallegiance
EQUIUS: D --> I udder to think what I might be without you, Nepeta
NEPETA: :33 < udder?
EQUIUS: D --> Shudder
NEPETA: :33 < oh! thats so sw33t equius, you know i will always be ready to tacklepounce you when you start getting especially furrious :33
EQUIUS: D --> Yes, which is among the reasons why I must make your prote%ion a high priority
EQUIUS: D --> The highb100d has joined a stable of those who are becoming increasingly volatile and murderous as we remain stranded in this laboratory
EQUIUS: D --> I command you to steer clear of them, do you understand NEPETA: :33 < h33, did you mean st33r in the livestock sense?
EQUIUS: D --> Yes
NEPETA: :33 < well, if youre refurring to vwiskers, i was already plenty scared of her!
NEPETA: :33 < and if you are talking about mr ampurra, he has always given me the cr33ps anyway! so there is nothing to fret over
EQUIUS: D --> E%cellent
EQUIUS: D --> I would still prefur you hide, I mean prefer
NEPETA: :33 < hide? where? :oo
EQUIUS: D --> Behind that gait
NEPETA: :33 < gait? you mean gate? what gate??
NEPETA: :33 < what are you STALKING about!!!
EQUIUS: D --> I mean that door over there, you goshdarned sillyface
NEPETA: :33 < oh!
NEPETA: :33 < kay! :33 <33
> Be Nepeta.
EQUIUS: D --> I will now seek the highb100d, Nepeta
EQUIUS: D --> I command you to go hide, as we di%ussed
NEPETA: :33 < sure!
NEPETA: :33 < but there are lots of nuts on the loose out there, so dont stick your neck out and take any big frisks!
EQUIUS: D --> I will e%act caution, even when safety 100% to be 100% assured
EQUIUS: D --> Even so
EQUIUS: D --> I would still like to take the opportunity to say
NEPETA: :33 < what?
EQUIUS: D --> Goodbye
NEPETA: :33 < ...
NEPETA: :33 < well ok, goodbye!
NEPETA: :33 < but you had better believe i will s33 you again soon, equius!
EQUIUS: D --> Yes, you will
- * You are now Nepeta. Surely some glasses remain unsmashed...
-
> Drink milk.
lap lap lap lap lap :33
- * try the stairs to your west
-
You can't go up there! Equius told you to go hide through that gait! You mean gate. ARGH YOU MEAN DOOR.
- * pink teapot on the southern machines
-
> Examine teapot.
Cameowmile. It smells so good.
- * white one also
-
> Examine teapot.
Purrl grey. This has been steeping for way too long, so it is undoubtedly very STRONG. Just the way Equius liks it.
- * (the blue one against the north wall cannot be drunk)
- * return to Equius
-
> Suggest one last feelings jam in the pile.
NEPETA: :33 < *nepeta sh33pishly looks at her shoe with a question on her purrsed lips*
EQUIUS: D --> For pete's goodfornothing di%ie whistling SA%ES, Nepeta
EQUIUS: D --> I am through talking about feelings, now go hide like I commanded
NEPETA: :33 < but so many of our friends have died, and it just makes me so sad to think about!
NEPETA: :33 < i dont think we have even scratched the surface of our f33lings yet, and our f33lings in this case are a very tall and inviting carpeted post to sink our claws into!
EQUIUS: D --> I do not hoove claws
EQUIUS: D --> I mean have claws
NEPETA: :33 < i KNOW, i was speaking metafurrikitty :33
EQUIUS: D --> *Mr. Zahhak rolls his eyes, which remain concealed and a100f as ever*
NEPETA: :33 < besides, i know for a FACT that you are still f33ling b100 (h33h33) from losing aradia
EQUIUS: D --> I suppose
NEPETA: :33 < i did not mention, but i think i should...
NEPETA: :33 < it may purrk you up to know that i had a dream about her during my last catnap!
EQUIUS: D --> You did
NEPETA: :33 < yes, she had these purrty wings and a splendid hood, i think she might have b33n cosplaying much like friska has b33n!
EQUIUS: D --> Uh huh
NEPETA: :33 < she was so happy, just like she used to be, and she said she would s33 you soon!
EQUIUS: D --> That's a nice thought, and thank you for sharing it
EQUIUS: D --> But it was only a dream, and will surely have no consequence in reality
NEPETA: :33 < equius?
NEPETA: :33 < are those f33lings i an detecting with my wiggly whiskery nose? EQUIUS: D --> Maybe
NEPETA: :33 < then we must take this to the pile, scratching-posthaste!!! ;33
EQUIUS: D --> Okay, just for a while though
You then proceed to have the most poignant and heartfelt feelings jam in the history of paradox space, or piles of things.
> Roleplay.
EQUIUS: D --> :33 < *I, a mu%ular man who is clearly a feline-obsessed female at the moment, do something suitably cat-like in accordance with the nature of this juvenile theatrical amusement*
NEPETA: :33 < D --> *STRONG EQUIUS NO LIKE HISS-POOR ATTEMPT AT ROLEPLAY, ALSO DISAPPROVES OF MISSED OPPURRTUNITY TO SPELL AMUSEMENT AS AMEWSMENT*
EQUIUS: D --> That's not how I talk
NEPETA: :33 < D --> *EQUIUS COMMAND STRONG MEOWSCULAR CAT GIRL TO GET INTO ROLE BETTER* B33
EQUIUS: D --> Oh good grief
NEPETA: :33 < D --> *HE COMMANDS IT!!!!!!!!!*
EQUIUS: D --> Fine
EQUIUS: D --> :33 < *I, again as a lithe clawed female wearing a preposterous hood, I mean prepawsterous, strike a supine posture on the floor, darn it, pawsture*
EQUIUS: D --> :33 < *The e%posed belly commands to be scratched*
EQUIUS: D --> :33 < *It commands it, do as it says*
NEPETA: :33 < D --> *RAWR, HULKING BRUTE NO OBEY COMMAND, TOO STRONG FOR TOUCHY CUDDLY STUFF PURR USUAL!* BPP
EQUIUS: D --> :33 < *The scruffy haired, saucer eyed smart alec takes issue with the tone of the girl currently posing as said hulking brute*
EQUIUS: D --> :33 < *She/he wonders if he/she appurreciates that the pawerful nobleman currently meow%querading as her/him would be more than happy to accommeowdate said cuddly stuff, outrageous STRONGNESS purrmitting*
NEPETA: :33 < :\\\\
NEPETA: :33 < equius, dammit! why do you always have to make this so cerebral!
EQUIUS: D --> Language
NEPETA: :33 < sorry :((
EQUIUS: D --> What am I doing wrong
NEPETA: :33 < well you dont always have to announce who you are purrtending to be in every line! and you dont always have to point out that its just purrtend!
NEPETA: :33 < in fact, that is sort of an RPing no no
EQUIUS: D --> How would you recommend I approach the absurdist charade, then
NEPETA: :33 < oh i dunno, just by having fun and having a sense of humor about it and such! and not sneaking in sneaky sneakret little barbs of disdain for the exercise, i am not dumb you know, i catch those like scared little scurrying rodents!
EQUIUS: D --> I was having fun
EQUIUS: D --> The line about the belly scratching was e%ceptionally playful, and I am to be commended
EQUIUS: D --> You will commend me, I command it
NEPETA: :33 < yes yes, ok youre right. that was really great!
NEPETA: :33 < do more of that. ok ready? go!
EQUIUS: D --> I think I'm out of material though
EQUIUS: D --> I don't actually know that much about cats
NEPETA: :33 < errrrrrg! fiiiine, we can stop
NEPETA: :33 < here, take your gross stinky glasses back, SWEATQUIUS
EQUIUS: D --> Very well, here is your hood
NEPETA: :33 < umm
NEPETA: :33 < yeah
NEPETA: :33 < why dont
NEPETA: :33 < you hang on to that
NEPETA: :33 < forever!
NEPETA: :33 < it is my purrsent to you
EQUIUS: D --> I
EQUIUS: D --> I can't tell you how touching I find this gesture, Nepeta
EQUIUS: D --> Thank you, from the very bottom of my ludi%ly powerful cardiova%ular system
NEPETA: :33 < dont mention it! <33
> Tacklepounce.
tacklepounce!
ROBO PARTS EVERYWHERE!
- * ok, to the northeast corner
-
> Open door.
- * try to go back south
-
Equius has blocked the door from the other side with something incredibly heavy! DAMN HIM AND HIS STRONGNESS.
- * go to the wall showing Dave ♥ Tavros, Rose ♥ Kanaya, and Feferi ♥ Sollux.
-
> Examine shipping wall.
You just don't have the heart to update the wall to reflect the recent deaths of your friends.
As a veteran shipper, you have grown accustomed to watching your ships get sunk. But not like this. :((
- * to the west along the wall
-
> Examine paint set.
Alternian paint sets are manufactured with the pigment from the blood of culled wigglers.
Which... is pretty pawful, when you think about it!
- * in the southwest corner
-
> Examine yarn.
bat bat bat, pounce pounce pounce. :33
> Examine teapot.
Rawrjeeling. So fragrant! Mmmmm.
- * northwards
-
> Examine sugar pile.
Just looking at this pile is making you sleepy. And emotional.
No one can ever accuse you of not being prepurred to sweeten a warm beverage!
- * the individual ships on this wall are in need of review
-
> Examine Gamzee ♦ Karkat.
You suppose this pairing is still viable. Although the roles will have to be dramatically reversed!
> Examine Vriska ♠ Terezi.
Yes! This matchup was always just so purrrrrfect to you. Why can't anyone else see it? WHY CAN'T THEY SEE???
It's hard being a shipper. It's hard, and no one understands.
> Examine Jade ♣ (Karkat, Karkat).
You will have to remember to write Jade a nice thank you note for helping to stabilize Karkat's unhealthy relationship with his past and future selves. Maybe now with a clear head he will be able to open his eyes to what waits for him in other quadrants. Certain other PAWSIBILITIES. Maybe noticing someone nice over there in that bright red corner, who has been there all along. ;33
> Examine John ? Dersite.
This is, um... a ship in progress!
Human romance sure is weird.
> Examine creats, you mean crates.
- * a secret ship is revealed!
-
♥ Nepeta ♥ OTP ♥ Karkat ♥
Oh no!!! No one must ever see. NO ONE MUST EVER S333333333333333333!
Some day you will work up the guts to say something. Maybe once this huge murder fiasco blows over!
- * at the far west of the wall
-
great
> Enter great, you mean grate.
You suppose you should stay put like Equius said. But its so furstrating being all cooped up in here!
Surely scooting through the air ducts for a while couldn't hurt. He will never know!
- * occasional lyric in the spooky music:
-
♫ Miracles
♫ Miracles
- * head north
-
> Look through grate.
HONK.
Pucefoot? Berrybreath?? DOCTOR HONEYTONGUE??? WHAT MONSTER COULD DO THIS
- * head west
-
> Look through grate.
are you next? :o)
H33 h33! Next for what?
- * head west, and north
-
> Enter grate.
- * You are in a little room with two transporter pads
-
> Open chest.
You got an ENCHANTED SHITTY WIZARD FIGURINE!
It's..
A miracle.
- * inspect the transporters, from east to west
-
> Transportalize.
It doesn't work! Someone must have disabled the transportalizer on the other side.
> Examine green trail.
Looks like someone's being PRETTY SLOPPY with their grub sauce.
At least, you hope that's grub sauce...
> Transportalize.
Someone has chopped this thing right in half! Maybe whoever is traversing through these corridors does not want to be followed? You can certainly respect such sneaky tactics.
- * in the northwest corner
-
> Enter grate.
- * head north
-
> Look through grate.
We got a theory, you see like, we got a theory about magic and miracles...
♫ We got a theory, about life
- * You are now Equius once more, head up the stairs to your west
- * go west to the computer screens
- ERR
ERR
SYSTEM ERROR
ERR
- * there's a concealed passage near their north...
-
> Open chest.
CAGE
You got a SHATTERED BUST OF AN INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE SWEATY HUMAN MALE ACTOR.
You have told Nepeta not to scoot through the air ducts and steal the cherished belongings of others. But does she listen? Of course not.
- * return to the larger lab to your east
-
- * go all the way to the northwest corner of the red laboratory
-
> Open chest.
You got AHAB'S CROSSHAIRS!
Perfect! This is exactly the kind of firepower you could use if you're going up against...
You just broke it.
- * head along the corridor leading east...
- * north into the darkness... east...
-
> Examine slain beast.
Arrows? Fired true, straight through the eyes...
Who could have done this?
- * head east... final cutscene...
-
EQUIUS: D --> Ah, it's you, Pyrope
EQUIUS: D --> Have you seen the highb100d about
EQUIUS: D --> Pardon, "smelled"
GAMZEE: heheh.
GAMZEE: CHECK IT THE MOTHERFUCK OUT.
GAMZEE: it's the peasantblood.
GAMZEE: HEH HEH.
GAMZEE: fuckin heh.
EQUIUS: D --> Peasantb100d
EQUIUS: D --> Is that a joke
GAMZEE: if your blood.
GAMZEE: IS A RUNNING MOTHERFUCKING GAG.
GAMZEE: then soon.
GAMZEE: IT WILL BE RUNNING.
GAMZEE: through my motherfucking fingers.
EQUIUS: D --> The profanity is sickening
EQUIUS: D --> You'll stop
GAMZEE: you'll...
GAMZEE: KNEEL. >:o)
EQUIUS: D --> You are not Pyrope
EQUIUS: D --> You are the highb100d, I should have known
EQUIUS: D --> Remove your counterfeit eyewear at once
EQUIUS: D --> Uh
EQUIUS: D --> If you please, sir
GAMZEE: i'll show you what i motherfuckin got.
GAMZEE: IF YOU'LL SHOW ME WHAT'S MOTHERFUCKIN YOURS.
EQUIUS: D --> What
GAMZEE: it was.
GAMZEE: A MOTHERFUCKING.
GAMZEE: joke.
GAMZEE: HONK.
EQUIUS: D --> We really should talk
GAMZEE: you really should kneel.
EQUIUS: D --> What was that
EQUIUS: D --> The volume of your voice keeps fluctuating
GAMZEE: I SAID.
GAMZEE: kneel motherfucker.
GAMZEE: I TOLD YOU TO MOTHERFUCKING KNEEL, MOTHERFUCKER.
Replay.
Restart game.