You cautiously approach the ruthless businesswoman. She has deployed the CHEST OF MERCHANDISE. You say, you mean the hunger trunk? She acts like she didn't even hear you.
You are about to launch into another wordy tirade, but she wants to cut the chitchat and get down to business. She has a proposition for you. What is it, you say.
She wants to know if you would like to buy these motherfuckin potions.7 x B$ 420MM
You examine the businesswoman's wares with piqued curiosity, to your surprise. Wait, 420 MILLION per bottle? Isn't that a bit steep? She assures you these are standard retail markups. Plus the quality is impeccable. Each potion is aged to perfection.
BRONZE POTION - 420 MILLION BOONDOLLARS The businesswoman makes little effort to hide the fact that this is a bottle of troll blood. Not exactly a premium vintage, you remark casually trying to knock the price down a little. She isn't budging though. Damn she's good.
Buy BRONZE POTION?
You buy a few bottles of Tavros' blood. You will think fondly of his memory as you sip it in private where no one can see. Hey, it's not like you're proud of this habit.
FUSCHIA She says this "potion" was once running through the veins of a former heiress. It's real good shit. Doesn't cost any more than the others though, because she knows it's all the same to you. She can spot somebody in need of her fix when she sees one. The woman is an absolutely ruthless hustler of contraband.
Buy FUSCHIA POTION?
You nod in her direction ever so slightly and hold up two fingers. She forks over two hundred bottles. With a deep sign you slip her the moolah. Bitch is gonna send you to the poor house.
INDIGO POTION - 420 MILLION BOONDOLLARS She says she doesn't recall whom this potion was bled from, but she doubts it matters to you. She palms the bottle and swirls the fluid enticingly. You suddenly imagine Equius and his gross sweaty body and feel a little queasy. No, you absolutely REFUSE to buy this potion. You will not do it. Nope. No way.
Buy INDIGO POTION?
You buy a bunch of bottles and shamefacedly stash them with the others. Damn your lack of self control. The businesswoman shakes her head slowly as she stuffs the cash in her hoodie.
OLIVE POTION - 420 MILLION BOONDOLLARS She says this is supposed to be a love potion, adding, trust her. It doesn't work. Probably tastes good to a weirdo like you though. Want some? You encounter a melancholy thought about dear Nepeta as you begin to salivate.
Buy OLIVE POTION?
You say you guess you'll take one. She says deal, and gives you a thousand. You say huh? She says don't worry about the extras. She'll put them on your tab. You say thanks. She says don't mention it, and then says guess what. What, you say. Time to settle up your debt. You say WHAT just as she begins polishing her fork menacingly. You grumble a bit and dump 420 billion boonies at her feet unceremoniously.
VIOLET POTION - 420 MILLION BOONDOLLARS She says this is some d-bags blood. She never met the guy, but she's heard some unflattering stories. It doesn't sound that appetizing to you, but at least you wouldn't feel that guilty about drinking it. Oh, the rationalizations that run through the mind of a thirsty rainbow drinker. Did you really just say that aloud? The businesswoman nods.
Buy VIOLET POTION?
You say you'll take a half dozen bottles. She says sorry, she's only got one in stock. She says her wholesaler had a very limited supply. Seems like a lot of it was lost before he had a chance to harvest it. You wouldn't know anything about that, would you, she says while tapping her nose. You quickly change the subject. That's a really nice tiara she has there. Really... um. It's just really nice. Her eyes say thanks, but her face says, look, I couldn't care less that you killed Eridan with a chainsaw.
COBALT POTION - 420 MILLION BOONDOLLARS She says this "potion" was supposed to make you lucky. She wouldn't know, cause she never drank any. Because she's not a vampire, she said, just to drive her point home. Mm hmm, you say, glancing around uncomfortably. It doesn't matter though, she says. She makes her own luck now. You're tuning out her lecture at this point. You're just eying that vial of delicious Vriska blood and reaching for your pocketbook.
Buy COBALT POTION?
You thank the businesswoman for the transaction and... Karkat is asking what the hell you two are doing over there. Are you BUYING shit from her?? He demands to know what the fuck you could be buying. Is that... are those little jars of BLOOD he asks? PLEASE tell him you are not buying blood from this lunatic, Kanaya. You say what no of course not, and hide it behind your back.
GOLD POTION - 420 MILLION BOONDOLLARS Two for one deal on this gross mustard blood. She means potion... she pauses, looks at it and shrugs, then says she means blood. Anyway you want some? You know you want some.
Buy GOLD POTION?
You say ok, you'll take two. She says that'll be 840 million. You say 840? What about the two for one deal? She says the two for one deal applies, but there's a mandatory 100% gratuity tacked on to the bill. You sigh, and cough up the dough. You cannot outfox Jane Crocker in cunning business practices. She is simply the best there is.