* Transcript: "Returniabound (transcript and walkthough)"
* Permalink: http://readmspa.org/transcripts/6_005221.txt
* Pretty HTML version: http://readmspa.org/transcripts/6_005221


* Derived in part from transcripts by ShadowOfFate [http://pastebin.com/yydaDMDt] and by Greyscale [http://pastebin.com/qsT2MkQ8].

* Terezi slaps Karkat and teleports away
DOOF

* click the controls icon in the top-right
Use ARROW KEYS (or WASD KEYS) to walk and SPACEBAR to interact.

* go to the transporter pad (and press SPACE)
> Transportalize.

You can't leave without telling your leader where you're going first! That would be irresponsible. Also, you forgot to take the matriorb with you. You're clearly going to need that.
* you can also generate either half of that message if you do only one thing
You can't leave without telling your leader where you're going first! That would be irresponsible.
* or the other:
You forgot to take the matriorb with you! You're clearly going to need that.

* pick it up then, it's the spiky thing to your south
> Take.

You got the MATRIORB!

* go to the occupied hornpile
> Talk to Feferi and Sollux.
KANAYA: Relaxing In The Horn Pile I See
FEFERI: Y-ES! W)(y don't you )(op in too, Kanaya? 38D
FEFERI: T)(ere is plenty of space. Sollux and I are glubbing about feelings.
KANAYA: That Sounds Nice
KANAYA: But It Really Doesnt Look Like There Is Much Room In That Pile Of Horns At All And I Should Get Going Anyway
SOLLUX: yeah, of cour2e there'2 no room, iit wa2 kiind of a moroniic iinviitatiion two be hone2t.
FEFERI: )(-EY, S)(UT YOUR MOP-EY BLOW )(OL-E!!! I was just s)(owing a little bassic courtesea.
FEFERI: Really, you are just t)(e grouc)(iest dude sometimes.
FEFERI: (And it's really cute!)
SOLLUX: al2o let'2 get real, thii2 horn piile ii2n't comfortable at all, ii've got hard metal edge2 jabbiing me everywhere, and iit'2 lumpy a2 hell, and you can't move a fuckiing iinch wiithout honkiing the 2hiit out of iit and makiing everyone iin the room look at you.
SOLLUX: what iidiiot thought thii2 wa2 the iideal thiing two chiill out on. oh that'2 riight, a braiindead clown who eat2 toxiic 2liime.
SOLLUX: you probably liike iit becau2e iit'2 liike a coral reef or 2ome horriible jagged underwater piile of 2hiit liike that.
FEFERI: GROUC)(Y MOT)(-ER GLUBB-ER.
FEFERI: <3
KANAYA: Um
KANAYA: Okay I Will Leave You Be
FEFERI: Kanaya, I see t)(at look on your face.
FEFERI: You are curious, but are nervous about meddling, M I RIT------E?KANAYA: Uhh
SOLLUX: ff come on we we're haviing a priivate conver2atiion here.
FEFERI: It's ok, really! We were s)(aring some feelings about stuff. Sollux was feeling bummed out because Aradia blew up, and s)(e was )(is very close friend.
SOLLUX: 2iiiigh, HOLY 2HiiT, ye2 let'2 talk about all my problem2 openly, ii LOVE that. hey kk, check thii2 out, my emotiion2 are 2erviing a2 entertaiinment agaiin!
FEFERI: Yea)(! -Ey, Karcrab, get yer nubs over )(ere! Plenty of room in t)(e pile!
FEFERI: OMG, t)(at was SUC)( an obscene gesture )(e just made. 38O
SOLLUX: anyway, yeah, now that aa ii2 gone forever ii feel more depre22ed and u2ele22 than u2ual, and ii wa2 already pretty cod damn u2ele22 two begiin wiith, let'2 face iit.
FEFERI: But I )(ave it on good aut)(ority t)(at s)(e is fine!
FEFERI: Everyt)(ing is going to go swimmingly, YOU'LL S-E-E. 38)
SOLLUX: you are 2o riidiiculou2ly optiimii2tiic iit'2 kiind of 2iickeniing, why do you even put up wiith me?
SOLLUX: iif you weren't 2o great ii would thiink you were a fuckiing iidiiot for liikiing me.
SOLLUX: 2o, ii gue22 thank2 for liikiing me?
SOLLUX: waiit, that 2ounded 2o pathetiic, oh god. ii 2hould probably take that back.
SOLLUX: KANAYA WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU 2TIILL DOIING HERE, GOD DAMN IIT, CAN'T A GUY GET A LIITTLE GLUBBIING PRIIVACY WIITH A FII2H GIIRL IIN A PIILE OF HORN2.
* once you've talked to them, a white chat balloon appears above the computer to the southeast.
> Answer.

You have no interest in talking to this con artist right now. You are busy, and you won't even bother dignifying his text by highlighting it. Maybe a little later.

* back to your west
> Examine broken 8 ball.

8ad 8r8k.

Just another member of your team unaccounted for. Where the hell is she? Oh well, at least she's out of everybody's hair for a while. She's probably off swooning over that shitty greasy human movie star, and being generally harmless.

* southwest corner of lab
> Examine Tinkerbull plush.

Dear Tinkerbull. Sweet, sweet precious Tinkerbull. Tavros loved this memorial plush sewn for him so much.

Seeing it here on the floor would be especially poignant if he were dead. But you know for a fact that he is alive and well. So it's all good.

* north to Karkat
> Talk about Terezi.
KANAYA: What Was That About
KARKAT: I DON'T KNOW, I GUESS I FUCKED UP AGAIN.
KARKAT: I CAN'T SEEM TO DO ANYTHING RIGHT IN HER EYES ANYMORE.
KARKAT: I MEAN NOSE.
KANAYA: Maybe You Should Go Say Something To Her
KARKAT: WELL I WOULD, BUT SHE'S PROBABLY BURROWED FUCK DEEP IN THIS LAB BY NOW. I'M SURE SHE'S BUSY SCOOTING UP AND DOWN STAIRS AND SHOOSHING THROUGH POINTLESS CORRIDORS, AND OPENING CHESTS CONTAINING LIKE THREE BOONDOLLARS AND HIDEOUS PAINTINGS OF ENORMOUS NAKED BARNYARD MONSTERS.
KARKAT: WHAT IS WITH ALL THE CHESTS ANYWAY? AND WHY DO WE KEEP SQUIRRELING OUR USELESS SHIT AWAY IN THEM? I REALLY SHOULD HAVE WRITTEN A MEMO ABOUT THIS. LIKE, THE RULES OF CHESTIQUETTE.
KANAYA: Squirreling
KARKAT: SQUIRREL IS THE HUMAN WORD FOR NUT CREATURE
KANAYA: Oh
KANAYA: Well I Think The Chests Are Fun They Make For Nice Surprises
KARKAT: WHATEVER
KARKAT: ANYWAY I CAN'T LEAVE, IF YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED THE TEAM HAS BEEN FALLING APART HERE EVER SINCE ARADIA EXPLODED FOR NO REASON, AND THEREFORE PRESUMABLY DIED FOREVER.
KARKAT: SERIOUSLY, WHERE THE HELL IS EVERYBODY? WHERE'S GAMZEE??? SHIT ISN'T RIGHT
KARKAT: I'VE GOT TO STAY PUT HERE AND KEEP IT TOGETHER.
KANAYA: Okay Then
KANAYA: If I See Her Along My Way Ill Let Her Know You Want To Talk
KANAYA: If You Dont Think Thats Too Meddlesome Of Me
KARKAT: NO THAT'S FINE, THANKS.
KARKAT: WAIT
KARKAT: YOU'RE GOING SOMEWHERE?
> Tell Karkat where you're going.
KANAYA: Im Returning To The Core To Deposit The Matriorb
KANAYA: Wish Me Luck
KARKAT: WHOA WHAT THE FUCK???
KARKAT: I MEAN, THAT'S GREAT, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT TO DO WITH IT. BUT YOU CAN'T GO, I NEED YOU HERE. LOOK AROUND, SHIT IS MAYHEM.
KANAYA: Ill Only Be Gone For A Few Minutes
KANAYA: Anyway Youre Doing A Good Job And I Think You Can Manage To Cope With My Momentary Absense
KARKAT: OK FINE.
KARKAT: IN THAT CASE
KARKAT: GOOD LUCK, HOPE IT WORKS.
KANAYA: Thanks
> Be Karkat
* You are now, unsurprisingly, Karkat
> Talk about Jade.
KANAYA: It Sounds Like Youve Been Talking To The Jade Human Like You Said You Would
KARKAT: YEAH
KANAYA: I Just Used The Phrase The Jade Human Satirically For No Reason It Is Just One Of Many Ways In Which Im Becoming More Multicultural
KARKAT: NICE ONE, I'M LAUGHING UP A FUCKING STORM.
KANAYA: Have You Found Her Password System To Be Practical
KARKAT: DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE PASSWORD BULLSHIT.
KARKAT: SO, OK. FUTURE JADE GIVES ME SOME REALLY MYSTERIOUS THING TO TELL PAST JADE, TO MAKE SURE SHE DOES SOMETHING SHE NEEDS TO DO WITHOUT EXPLICITLY GIVING HERSELF THE IDEA FROM THE FUTURE.
KARKAT: WHICH IS DUMB, BUT OK I GO ALONG WITH IT SO SHE DOESN'T COMPLETELY FLIP THE FUCK OUT AT ME. AND THEN I GET BACK TO HER IN THE FUTURE TO SAY I DID IT.
KARKAT: AND WHAT AM I GREETED WITH? PASSWORD.
KARKAT: PASSWORD PASSWORD PASSWORD PASSWORD PASSWORD PASSWORD. PASSWORD YOU NUBBY GRUMPY SACK OF UGLY FUCK. I WANT A PASSWORD RIGHT NOW OR I WILL DIRECT MY COLD LASER HATESTARE THROUGH YOUR BULGE FROM BEHIND MY GOOFY ASS GOGGLY GIRL GLASSES FOR LAME SHITTY SISSIES.
KARKAT: OK I'M PARAPHRASING HERE.
KARKAT: SO I GIVE HER THE PASSWORD AND SHE'S LIKE WRONG!!! I HAVEN'T GIVEN YOU THAT PASSWORD YET, OR YOU ALREADY GAVE ME THAT PASSWORD, OR IT'STOO EARLY FOR IT OR WHATEVER. FIND THE RIGHT FUTURE ME TO GIVE THE PASSWORD TO.
KARKAT: SO I'M LIKE FUCK, I RESPECTFULLY SUBMIT THIS IS NEW LEVELS OF STUPIDITY AND POINTLESSNESS THAT ONLY RETARDS WOULD ENJOY WHILE EARNESTLY INVESTIGATING THEIR OWN GENITALS, BUT THAT'S JUST MY OPINION.
KARKAT: AND THEN WE SPEND WAY MORE TIME ARGUING ABOUT PASSWORD SHIT THAN ANYTHING CONSTRUCTIVE.
KANAYA: It Sounds Like You Like Her
KARKAT: WHAT?? WHERE ARE YOU GETTING THAT
KANAYA: Well She Is Giving You A Reason To Be Frustrated And Loud What More Could You Ask For In A Friend
KANAYA: Shes Quite Considerate Actually
KARKAT: OK, YES, I'LL SAY SHE'S A LOT MORE DECENT THAN I GAVE HER CREDIT FOR ORIGINALLY
KARKAT: AND SOMEWHERE IN THIS MESS I GUESS A COHERENT PLAN IS STARTING TO EMERGE? I STILL CAN'T DETERMINE EXACTLY WHAT IT IS BECAUSE SHE'S ALWAYS SO VAGUE, BUT WHATEVER.
KARKAT: AT LEAST SHE ACTUALLY SEEMS TO CARE ABOUT HELPING US WITH OUR PROBLEM TOO, WHICH IS MORE THAN I THOUGHT A HUMAN WOULD DO, AND WAY MORE THAN I CAN SAY FOR A LOT OF THE LOUSY SELF ABSORBED FUCKS AROUND HERE.
KANAYA: Do You Think Terezi Is Aware Of Your Interactions With Her
KARKAT: I DON'T KNOW, PROBABLY?
KANAYA: I Dont Want To Sound Too Meddlesome Because I Know People Dont Like That Much But Didnt You And She Used To Have A Thing Like That
KARKAT: MAN, WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK WE HAD A THING???
KANAYA: Well Didnt You
KARKAT: THE THING WHICH MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE EXISTED NOTWITHSTANDING, WHAT RIGHT WOULD SHE HAVE TO BE UPSET ABOUT ME TALKING TO JADE.
KANAYA: Maybe She Thinks You Are Trying To Make Her Jealous
KARKAT: OH LIKE SHE'S NOT DOING THE SAME THING TO ME BY TALKING TO THAT POMPOUS TOOL WHO'S IDIOTICALLY INSECURE ABOUT THE COLOR OF HIS EYES.
KARKAT: WHILE HYPOCRITICALLY TYPING WITH HIS CANDY RED TEXT TO DRIVE THE GIRLS WILD, WHAT A FUCKING SHOWOFF.
KARKAT: YOU JUST KNOW SHE'S DOING IT TO ANNOY ME, SHE WAS PROBABLY EVEN PUTTING ON A LITTLE SHOW FOR ME CRYING OVER HIS CORPSE, LIKE SHE REALLY GIVES A SHIT.
KANAYA: Do You Actually Believe She Was Pretending
KARKAT: YEAH SURE. I DUNNO
KANAYA: Maybe You Should Try Not To Be So Quick To Dismiss The Sincerity Of Peoples Emotions
KARKAT: I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT.
KARKAT: WOW I WAS BEING PRETTY DUMB JUST NOW. WHAT A FUCKING IDIOT.
KARKAT: PAST ME IS ALWAYS SO TERRIBLE, EVEN WHEN I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED BEING HIM.
KANAYA: ...
KARKAT: UH
KANAYA: I Wasnt Actually Crying Just Now I Was Exaggerating My Reaction For Effect
KARKAT: OK YOU'RE GOING WAY TOO FAR WITH THE MULTICULTURAL SHIT, YOU NEED TO TAKE IT DOWN A PEG.

* south to blue scalemate
> Examine scalemate.

Why Duke Pinesnort, it seems your lovely green complexion has turned to blue as each past treachery has tightened your noose a little more.

Worry not. It will all be over soon as you are stuffed in your suffocophagus and given a funeral fit not for a nobleman but a lowly beggar. Let that be a lesson to your family, who was also executed in the name of justice.

* west to surface
> Examine drawing tablet.

What have we here? Looks like there's a half finished comic on this thing. Some kind of coolkid... and a girl with red glasses. What are they doing there together?

Yeah, maybe you shouldn't snoop into her coolkid fanfic. It's probably private.

* south to white splodge on the floor
> Examine used host plush.

This one has been decapitated for some reason.

Weird.

And gross.

* east to orange/red bottle
> Examine Faygo.

Gamzee left perfectly good lukewarm bottles of wicked elixir lying around. There is something so wrong about this.

You think about taking a robust swig, but then you come to your senses and don't.

* east to red suit on floor
> Examine dragonsuit.

Terezi's ridiculous cosplay getup. You feel kind of bad for mocking her for it. Just one of many exhibits of boorish behavior you should probably apologize for.

That is, if you're presently Karkat while examining this item. If you aren't, those thoughts are not relevant to you.

You decided not to program contingencies for examining this item with different characters, because that would have been a waste of time.

* northeast to unicycle looking thing on floor
> Examine Uni-real Air.

It's sad seeing UNI-REAL AIR lying here without Gamzee around to neglect it while people trip over it. It's almost a little poignant, like seeing a toppled tricycle in the yard of a missing child.

Oops you mean a toppled three wheel device in the lawnring of a culled wiggler. Doesn't get more tragic than that.

* north to exploded area
> Examine robo-debris.

The final Aradiabot exploded about an hour ago. She is dead for good now you guess.

Or is she???

Yes, she is. You're completely certain of it.

* southeast to teapot
> Examine teapot.

Nepeta has left her steeping pot of flavorful cameowmile untouched. She is gone too. Another purrplexing mystery.

* southwest to bow on floor
> Examine broken bow.

You have seen many sad things on your adventure.

But watching Equius practice archery may be the saddest thing of all.

* southwest to plush on floor
> Examine host plush.

You really hope he stops playing games for girls soon.

For good.

One way or another.

* east to the item on the surface
> Examine milk.

It's not like Equius to leave a tall, refreshing glass of milk unshattered.

What the hell is going on here? Where IS everybody???

* southwest to second exploded area
> Examine exploded computer.

Looks like some douchebag's computer blew up. Whatever happened, it probably served him right.

* west to the hornpile
> Talk to Feferi and Sollux.
FEFERI: KRABSNACK!!!!!!
KARKAT: HEY.
FEFERI: You're just in time. We are talking about serious feelings )(ere!
FEFERI: Sollux )(as been feeling...
KARKAT: DON'T GIVE A FUCK.
SOLLUX: THANK you.
SOLLUX: kk, you are a true friiend.
FEFERI: Oh fine. 38(
FEFERI: So w)(at reeled you over to t)(e old pile?
KARKAT: HAVE ANY OF YOU SEEN GAMZEE?
KARKAT: IT'S NOT LIKE HIM TO STRAY FAR FROM THE HORN PILE.
KARKAT: I'M GETTING KIND OF WORRIED.
FEFERI: You are?
FEFERI: Aw, t)(at's so sweet!
SOLLUX: ehehehheheheheheh, yeah.
KARKAT: AUGH.
KARKAT: JUST, WHERE IS HE?
SOLLUX: ii dunno man, ii have heard nary a honk out of hiim for a whiile.
FEFERI: Maybe somet)(ing frig)(tened )(im off into t)(e lab?
FEFERI: W)(y don't you go looking for )(im? We could )(elp!
KARKAT: I WOULD, BUT
KARKAT: I CAN'T. GOT TO STAY PUT, KEEP THE TEAM TOGETHER.
KARKAT: I DON'T WANT YOU FUCKERS STRAYING OFF EITHER, YOU UNDERSTAND?
KARKAT: JUST STAY IN THE PILE AND KEEP MAKING EVERYONE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH YOUR SAPPY BULLSHIT, THAT'S AN ORDER.
FEFERI: We were t)(inking of taking a nap, actually.
FEFERI: You s)(ould too, Carpcatfis)(! It'll be GR-EAT!
KARKAT: WHY DO YOU KEEP INSISTING ON IGNORING THE SIMPLE NO SLEEPING RULE, I MADE IT PERFECTLY...
KARKAT: YOU KNOW WHAT, FINE. JUST TAKE YOUR NAP, AS LONG AS YOU JUST STAY PUT.

* Everything seems in order here. Go back to Kanaya
> Be Kanaya

* Go the teleporter pad again
> Transportalize

* Denied! You are now Eridan
> Talk to Kanaya.
ERIDAN: kan i been meanin to thank you
KANAYA: For What
ERIDAN: for all that trainin you did
ERIDAN: i wwouldnt be the incredible holy wwizard i am noww wwithout your help
KANAYA: But I Didnt Even Really Train You I Just Made You A Wand
ERIDAN: yeah wwell thats all i needed i guess
ERIDAN: i just needed for someone to showw a little faith in me so im sayin thanks i owwe ya
KANAYA: Okay Then Youre Welcome
KANAYA: I Hope You Use Your Magnificent Powers Of Light And Hope For Goodness And Purity And Lets Not Forget Science
ERIDAN: dont wworry im all ovver that shit you dont evven knoww
KANAYA: Uh Oh I Hope That Didnt Come Off As Too Sarcastic
ERIDAN: wwhat
KANAYA: The Thing I Just Said
KANAYA: I Didnt Even Realize How Sarcastic I Was Being Its Starting To Become A Problem I Think
KANAYA: Please Dont Take Too Much Offense
ERIDAN: haha damn kan if thats your idea of offense bein made then i honestly gotta fuckin wworry for you
ERIDAN: tell you wwhat ill givve you some lessons in dealin out the dark umbrage to repay you for your tutelage in the wwhite science
KANAYA: Um Sure
KANAYA: A Little Later Maybe
ERIDAN: hey wwhat are you doin anywway
ERIDAN: wwhats that thing there
KANAYA: The Matriorb
KANAYA: I Was About To Go Hatch It In The Core To Restore Our Race
ERIDAN: that sounds
ERIDAN: hopeful
KANAYA: I Hope Its Hopeful
ERIDAN: you should of told me about this
ERIDAN: if theres goin to be any sort a hope for our race as the prince of hope i demand to be invvolvved
ERIDAN: so dont go anywwhere wwithout me got it
KANAYA: But
KANAYA: Fine
> Examine matriorb.

Gotta help Kanaya out with this thing after your business is done here. Hope is your jurisdiction on this meteor.

> Transportalize.

You aren't about to leave. You just got here, and you have business to take care of.

* Go to the white chat alert balloon.
> Answer.

No reason to snoop on her computer. You've got better things to do.

* go to Karkat.
> Talk to Karkat.
KARKAT: MAN, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? YOU AREN'T HELPING, WANDERING OFF LIKE...
KARKAT: HOLY SHIT, IS THAT YOUR NEW MAGIC WAND?
ERIDAN: its not magic wwe talked about this kar
KARKAT: RIGHT, IT'S POWERED BY SCIENCE, I FORGOT.
KARKAT: OR HOPE. WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT MEANS.
ERIDAN: i dont fuckin need this from you i take enough shit as it is from the rest a you dirtscrapers i thought you and me had a kinda pact or wwhatevver
KARKAT: OK FINE, SHUT UP, I APOLOGIZE. I KNOW IT'S TOUGH BEING YOU.
ERIDAN: nobody gets it
ERIDAN: i had a harder time than anybody wwith this game
ERIDAN: it wwas really fuckin unfair wwhat challenges i got saddled wwith
ERIDAN: i wwoulda fuckin MURDERED for a land full of a lot a harmless brains and fire
ERIDAN: but no
ERIDAN: it wwas so lonely
ERIDAN: hey guys anybody wwant to come hang out wwith me in the land a wwrath and angels
ERIDAN: anybody at all i knoww it isnt anythin like one of your flippin land picnics
ERIDAN: anybody please ill evven settle for the kittycat shipper cavve girl
ERIDAN: but yeah i guess bein her servver player and savvin her life wwasnt goddamn enough
ERIDAN: had to be my most humiliatin rejection yet
KARKAT: OK, BUT TO BE FAIR, I'M PRETTY SURE SHE'S STILL OBSESSED WITH ME.
KARKAT: IT'S A VERY UNFORTUNATE, VERY RED AND VERY UNREQUITED SITUATION I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TIPTOE AROUND FOR A LONG TIME, OK?
KARKAT: HER DISINTEREST IN YOUR ADVANCE WASN'T A REFLECTION ON YOU AT ALL.
KARKAT: COME ON, WE TALKED ABOUT THIS.
ERIDAN: yeah i guess
KARKAT: ANYWAY I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU WERE EXPECTING TO MAKE ANY SORT OF TRACTION IF YOU SEE HER AS THE KITTYCAT SHIPPER GIRL, SHE'S A PERSON WITH FEELINGS YOU RAVING DOUCHE.
ERIDAN: i knoww kar its not evven the point im ovver that embarrassment
ERIDAN: im just saying wwhere the fuck wwere you guys
ERIDAN: i had to deal wwith those awwful angels all by my self
ERIDAN: do you havve any idea howw hard those assholes are to kill
ERIDAN: like at least a minute of sustained fire from only the most legendary wweapon evver and they wwere FAST and ANGRY as SHIT
KARKAT: YEAH WE TALKED ABOUT THAT TOO.
KARKAT: I REALLY DON'T THINK YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE KILLING THEM DUDE.
KARKAT: I KEPT SAYING, I THINK THEY'RE LIKE GAME CONSTRUCTS OR SOMETHING. THERE TO SERVE SOME OTHER GAME PURPOSE, NOT FOR YOU TO HUNT DOWN.
KARKAT: THEY DIDN'T EVEN GIVE YOU ANY GRIST, YOU IDIOT. THAT WAS YOUR FIRST CLUE.
ERIDAN: fine wwhatevver your still missin the point
ERIDAN: wwhere wwas evverybody wwhy are they avvoidin me all the time
KARKAT: THEY WERE TOO SCARED SHITLESS TO SET FOOT ON YOUR PLANET FOR MORE THAN A SECOND!
KARKAT: BETWEEN A TRIGGERHAPPY PRINCE WITH A GOD WEAPON BLASTING ANYTHING THAT TWITCHED AND A MILLION CRAZED ANGELS HE DELIBERATELY ENRAGED, IT WASN'T WHAT I'D CALL AN IDEAL SOCIAL HUB.
KARKAT: IF YOU WERE LONELY WHY DIDN'T YOU VENTURE OUT MORE OFTEN?
ERIDAN: wwell i wwoulda but nobody else wwas vvolunteerin to pick up the slack on angel killin duties
KARKAT: OH MY FUCKING GOD WHY DON'T YOU LISTEN
ERIDAN: and anywways i did leavve
ERIDAN: evventually
KARKAT: LEAVING YOUR PLANET TO GO DUEL WITH SOLLUX ISN'T BEING SOCIABLE YOU THICK FUCK.
KARKAT: AND YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU DESERVED GETTING YOUR ASS HANDED TO YOU, BECAUSE I WARNED YOU AND YOU DIDN'T LISTEN.
ERIDAN: yeah ok wwe wwill see wwhos becomin the proud neww recipient a wwhose ass noww
KARKAT: ARGH, LOOK
KARKAT: JUST STAY HERE FOR A WHILE, OK? NO MORE BROODING IN THE LAB, AND ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING DUELING. STAY OUT OF TROUBLE.

* Time for Trickster mode. Press CTRL + T (or SHIFT + T)

* talk to Sollux
> Turn on Heir Conditioning
* (it'll stop playing when you leave.)

* talk to the Earthbound stars
> Talk.

This asshole only has one record!

> Talk.

Thrust. Thrust. Thrust. Thrust.

> Talk.

I miss the other guy, at least he had some taste.

> Talk.

Man where the hell'd that awesome clown go??

* Press CTRL + T to return to the main lab...

* to the hornpile
> Talk to Feferi and Sollux.
SOLLUX: oh GOD, iit'2 hiim.
SOLLUX: ff can you tell hiim two go away, ii don't even have the energy for thii2.
ERIDAN: hey finless this doesnt concern those wwith mustard sludge slippin through their vveins
ERIDAN: its a matter for royalty only
ERIDAN: so keep your mouth closed or ill slit you open ovver my next meal
SOLLUX: w/e bro, not iintere2ted.
FEFERI: -Eridan, please! I don't want to see any more dueling.
FEFERI: Don't try to provoke )(im. It's not like I don't know w)(at you're doing! You keep trying to spark a rivalry wit)( )(im to get me to auspisticize between you two, and pull us out of our quadrant!
FEFERI: It is t)(e oldest and lamest trick in t)(e book. It didn't work t)(en and it won't work now!
ERIDAN: thats an astonishin accusation howw could you say that
ERIDAN: first as if this scum is evven wworthy of a rivvalry wwith me and second as if im not totally DONE wwith you like i havve TOLD you REPEATEDLY
ERIDAN: all i wwant to do is havve a wword wwith you
FEFERI: Ok -Eridan, we can talk. But only if you're planning on being civil.
ERIDAN: thats wwhat you nevver got fef
ERIDAN: you and i are bein civvil by vvery vvirtue a the fact that wwere talkin noww
ERIDAN: wwere royalty you and i and wwe belong together
ERIDAN: evven if not in THAT WWAY wwhich i get that youre not into and thats fine
ERIDAN: but wwe belong together as the rulin class if nothin else
ERIDAN: so im gonna ask you this one last time and givve you the choice
ERIDAN: im about to go please come wwith me
FEFERI: Go wit)( you?? -Eridan, you weren't really serious about going to find Jack, were you?
ERIDAN: of course i wwas
ERIDAN: and wwe should do it together
ERIDAN: youvve got nothin to fear noww ivve reached a neww heights of powwer no one else can dream of not evven mindfang wwith her garish orange swweatsuit and her silly flappy wwings and all her poppycock about luck wwhich evveryone wwith a think pan knowws to be the fakest fiction that evver failed to exist
SOLLUX: thii2 ii2 the mo2t hiilariiou2 thiing ii've ever heard, he made one of hii2 2hiitty fake wand2 glow a liittle and now he thiink2 he'2 a faiiry god troll or 2omethiing, lmao!
ERIDAN: wwas that slander just i heard i cant evven tell
ERIDAN: i tend to block out noise from filth wwhose blood is practically the complementary fuckin color a mine
FEFERI: )(e )(as a point t)(oug)(, in t)(at you may be overestimating your abilities?
FEFERI: Jack Noir is INSAN-ELY powerful -Eridan! Please, I don't want to see you do anyt)(ing foolis)( by trying to fig)(t )(im.
ERIDAN: fight him
ERIDAN: are you fuckin nuts
ERIDAN: i slaughtered enough angels to knoww my limits and wwhere i stand against the lord of all angels they prophecized
ERIDAN: of course im not gonna fight him i stand no chance in hell against that guy
ERIDAN: im goin to join him
FEFERI: YOU'R-E W)(AT???
ERIDAN: and youre gonna join me in joinin him too fef come on lets go
SOLLUX: AHAHAHAHA, ok that'2 iit, he'2 lo2t iit.
FEFERI: NO I AM NOT! And you aren't eit)(er! T)(at is GLUBBING INSAN-E!
FEFERI: I t)(oug)(t you were supposed to be t)(e Prince of )(ope? )(ow is it )(opeful to surrender to a murderous demon like a COWARD???
ERIDAN: as the prince of hope im uniquely qualified to recognize wwhen all hope is lost
ERIDAN: and im tellin you there is no hope not evven a little bit
ERIDAN: only thing left to do is servve him and hope he spares us
ERIDAN: and im extendin the invvitation to come wwith me cause evven though you dont think so i really do care about you
ERIDAN: servvin under jack together wwell be unstoppable and our anemones wwill tremble before us wwhat do you say
FEFERI: NO. You )(ave lost ALL RIG)(T to use fis)( puns FOR-EV-ER. I revoke your fis)( punning license, as w)(ale as our fronds)(ip!
ERIDAN: dont take that tuna vvoice wwith me princess
FEFERI: W)(AT T)(-E FUCK DID I JUST SAY???
FEFERI: T)(at's it. T)(is makes me sad, -Eridan, but now we )(ave to stop you. We can't let you find Jack and risk you leading )(im to us.
ERIDAN: so thats howw it is is it
SOLLUX: 2he'2 riight, man. can't beliieve thii2, ii wa2 lookiing forward two a nap two.
SOLLUX: ii 2hould have kiilled you on lobaf when ii had the chance.
SOLLUX: oh well, gue22 iit'2 only fiittiing ii'd take you down iin ROUND TWO.
SOLLUX: you ready, priince?
ERIDAN: bring it mage
* the fight sequence
ROUND 2

e=mc²

* you can replay if you want
> Start battle over.
> Start game over.


* Sources:
* http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005221 - [S] Kanaya: Return to the core.
* http://www.mspaintadventures.com/storyfiles/hs2/03318/03318.swf

* Generated by scripts and humans - corrections welcome!
* http://readmspa.org/transcripts