* Transcript: "John explores his house with WV (transcript and walkthrough)" * Permalink: http://readmspa.org/transcripts/6_002153.txt * Pretty HTML version: http://readmspa.org/transcripts/6_002153 * Derived in part from a transcript by ShadowOfFate [http://pastebin.com/a3k6RgMR] CLICK THIS * click it! To walk around, use the mouse, arrow keys, or WASD keys. Click on various objects to open command menus for them! Outstanding Flash programming by Alexis 'Gankro' Beingessner. * click jestersprite > WHAT'S THAT It looks different now. After you bit that APPLE, your whole house seemed to be trasported somewhere. Then the APPLE disappeared and the KERNELSPRITE underwent a transformation. Aside from the change in appearance, the transformation doesn't seem to have any relevant ramifications. You still can't understand a word this idiot says. > THE GHOST CLOWN. DO SOMETHING WITH IT. The 'GHOST CLOWN' is called the KERNELSPRITE! Or, rather just the SPRITE now, I suppose. You can't 'DO SOMETHING' with it at the moment! The only thing you can theoretically do with it is TIER 2 PROTOTYPE IT, assuming that's still possible... > TIER PROTO TYPE THE SPRITE, OR THE THING YOU SAID. DO IT. You are not the one who is supposed to prototype it! The SBURB SERVER USER is supposed to do that. * click John > YOU THERE. BOY. ... What? > BOY. LISTEN TO ME, BOY. His name is John, you nincompoop. > BOY WHO IS JOHN. DO AS I SAY. What would you like 'BOY WHO IS JOHN' to do? > OBEY MY COMMANDS, JOHN BOY. And those commands would be...? > I WOULD LIKE THE BOY TO INTERACT WITH HIS ENVIRONMENT IN A CONSTRUCTIVE MANNER. Maybe you should be a little more specific? > HAVE THE BOY ASSESS HIS CURRENT SITUATION. I'm afraid I can't 'HAVE THE BOY' do that. Tell him to do it yourself! > VERY WELL. ... Ok. > ==> That instruction does not do anything at the moment!!! > ==> Sigh. Could you please turn the controls over to a more competent user? > ASLFSAKLADAK Increasingly sophomoric. Also, you almost spelled 'SALAD' in there. * click the balcony railings > PEEK OVER THE RAILING. Getting close to the railing makes you a little nervous. It's a long way down. * click the large Alchemiter platform > THIS LARGE PLATFORM. GOOD GRIEF, WHAT IS IT BOY? The ALCHEMITER created the APPLE, or the tree that sprouted it rather, right on time to save you from destruction. You're not sure if you can say the same for your neighborhood though. You wonder what happened to your DAD? * click the Cruxite dowel that stands on a plinth to the left of the Alchemiter > EXAMINE THE STRANGE BLUE VASE. It is the piece of CRUXITE you carved with the TOTEM LATHE. When its contours were scanned, the ALCHEMITER was able to produce that tree. How odd! * click the door at the left of the balcony room > BOY, OPEN THIS DOOR AND WALK THROUGH IT. * You are now on the landing above the living room * no need to click the far left to ever return to the balcony... > WAIT GO BACK OUT HERE BOY. * click the diagonally facing door to your upper left > BOY, GO IN HERE. * You are now in your bedroom * click the Little Monsters poster on the wall to the left of the door > INSPECT THIS GHASTLY MAN AND HIS BOY. 'Fred Savage has a punchable face' your ass! More like a talented young actor's face who you would want to hang out with if you got the chance, and also if he were not a fully grown man now. Anyway, the thought of monsters lurking in your house scares the shit out of you, which is why this movie is so awesome. But the fact that those monsters could also be your BEST FRIEND is what makes it DOUBLY AWESOME. * click the Con Air poster that is partially obscured by the door on the bed > IS THAT JOHN CUSACK? Yeah, you guess so, but damn that door be coverin' up your man Cage something serious. That ain't cool! * click the door itself > THIS DOOR. EXPLAIN THIS. Rose sure did a number on your house. But you guess she did manage to save your life. YOU GUESS. * click the red box on the bed > OBSERVE THIS BOX. THE BUNNY IS NOT IN THE BOX. I SAID, THE BUNNY IS NOT IN THE BOX. WHY COULDN'T THE BUNNY BE IN THE BOX? * click the Ghostbusters poster > ARMED FOES OF THE DECEASED? Most people say the second one was not as great as the first, but you feel just the opposite. It was really cool and sort of gross how they hosed each other down with slime that made people angry. TG refers to the film as 'nasty manbro bukkake theater', whatever the hell that means. * click the Mac'n'Me poster > MARVEL AT THIS ADVENTURE IN OUTER SPACE. This movie is... Ok, this movie is really bad. Not even you can defend it. You've been meaning to take this poster down, actually. * click the window > BOY, LOOK THROUGH THIS WINDOW. * click anywhere on the scene At least your TIRE SWING remains unmolested. A tree without a tire swing is like... Like a house without a surrounding neighborhood, you guess.), * click the towel on the floor > ACQUIRE THIS SMALL PERSIAN RUG. It's a towel, dumbass! It will probably come in handy for cleaning up this weird mess in your room. Not that it's a huge priority, though. * click the Totem Lathe against the wall to the right of the room > THIS HUGE SEWING MACHINE. OF WHAT USE IS IT. The PUNCH CARD seemed to contain the instructions for carving a TOTEM of a certain shape. You guess maybe other PUNCH CARDS will produce different shapes? It bears further exploration. * click the book on the floor > THIS FUNNYMAN TEXT. YOU SHOULD IGNORE IT. Just looking at the cover cracks you up! What a great book. Harry Anderson is your hero, and Mike Caveney's glowing treatment of the man does him every bit of justice. You'll have to give this another read soon. * back to the left, click the computer > INVESTIGATE THIS DEVICE. It seems you are still connected to the internet. Rose is trying to get in touch with you. You will reply in a moment, once you have fully assessed your situation. * click the black splat on the floor > EXAMINE THIS UNPLEASANT FLUID. What is this stuff? * head back left and click the door you came in > GO OUT OF THE DOOR THAT IS NOT HERE. * You are now back on the landing * click the poster of the Beaglepussed man on the wall to the left of the opening > THAT MAN WITH THE HUMOROUS SPECTACLES. ADMIRE HIM. Oh, Michael Cera. Your warm smile is a shining beacon in these dark times. * click the opening > WHAT IS DOWN HERE. PROCEED, BOY. * You are now in the corridor * click the poster on the wall at the end of the corridor > I AM NOT FOND OF THIS SMUG FELLOW. THE MAN. THE MYTH. THE LEGEND. What do you have up your sleeve there, Anderson? Look at that poker face. He's not telling a soul! * click the door on the left-hand wall of the corridor > GO IN THERE NOW. * You are now in the bathroom * click the bath or the toilet > YOUR PLUMBING APPEARS FAULTY. Man, Rose did such a piss-poor job of fixing the bathroom. It would almost certainly be a mistake to try to use the toilet! You guess you could just go pee over the edge of the cliff... * click the window > PEER THROUGH THAT WINDOW. * click anywhere on the scene At least your back yard was salvaged too. Sort of. * click the arrow to your lower right > LEAVE AT ONCE. * You are now back in the corridor * click the door on the right-hand wall of the corridor > OPEN THIS. Your DAD'S room is still locked!!! * go down and click the arrow at bottom of the screen > NO GO BACK. * You are now back on the landing; proceed to the right * click the first painting on the wall > I DETEST THIS! DISREGARD IT? The HARLEQUIN PAINTING? You have the sentiment in common with John then, I suppose. * go right, down the stairs * click the painting below you > VILE. PAY NO MIND TO THIS FILTH. What is he even doing there? Playing with a ball or something? Clowns are stupid. * and the one on the wall that you pass > NO NO NO NO NO. KEEP MOVING. Believe me, you have no intention of turning your head to observe this dreadful thing. * proceed down the stairs into the living room * click the figure on the stand at the base of the staircase > WHY DOES THIS SMALL MAN STAND HERE? This HARLEQUIN is always ready to serve you with illumination, whether you're reading a book, or just enjoying a nice pipe. * click the object on the sofa > A SMALL DESSERT TRAY? USELESS. In retrospect, it was pretty funny when your DAD pied you like that. Gotcha'd again by the old man! * right and down into the room, click the head on the floor > WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS RUBBISH. Ok, even YOU have to admit. This one's pretty funny! hehehehe! * go left and click the circular Sburb logo on the stand > USE THIS TO RESEAL THAT OPENING THERE. If only putting the lid back on the CRUXTRUDER would undo all it's done. Alas, Pandora's Tube has been opened. * click the Cruxtruder that blocks the door > MOVE THIS ABSURD EDIFICE AND EXIT YOUR HOUSE, BOY. This thing weighs a ton! You'd honestly be surprised if the game cursor could lift it, or at least not without a significant expense of GRIST. Of all the places for Rose to drop the infernal thing. More than ever you feel... what's the word you're looking for? Of course. Housetrapped. * walk round all the way to the far left of the room * click the statues on the shelving > DESTROY THESE DIMINUTIVE SOLDIERS OF MERRIMENT. It hardly seems worth it to go to the bother. You doubt you could get much for them at a garage sale even. Maybe a grubby palm of pennies and a kick in the nuts for the whole lot of 'em. * click the pokers to the side of the fireplace > WIELD THESE INSTRUMENTS OF COMBAT. Any one of these things would make a fine weapon. If only your STRIFE SPECIBUS wasn't already allocated. Oh well. * click the painting on the wall above the pokers > UGH, NO. So coy. So mysterious. * click the urn above the fireplace > TOPPLE THIS URN IMMEDIATELY. That would be disrespectful to your NANNA! You just won't do it!! Or not intentionally at least!!! You consider that it is fortunate she is no longer around to witness this sorrow. On the other hand, you would probably benefit from her elderly wisdom now... * click the coals in the fireplace > STOW LUMP OF SOOT FOR FUTURE USE, BOY. That stuff is really dirty and you don't want it! Besides, you have it on good authority that a significant portion of it is comprised of asbestos. * walk up and right to the right-hand opening, click it > HERE BOY. IN HERE. * You are now in the study * click the very large mural > INSPECT THIS MERRY BAND OF PERFORMERS. Cirque du Soleil once filed a restraining order against your father. You were never so embarrassed in your life. * click the cards on the floor > THIS IS A MESS, BOY. You're so glad your DAD wasn't watching when you did this. He never would have let you hear the end of it. * click the tube/can on the desk > CONSUME NUT. You would, but you're not sure if this dark realm has any hospitals. * heading right, click the magazine on the desk > READ UNPLEASANT LITERATURE. THE SERIOUS JESTER * click anywhere on it SERIOUS JESTER MAGAZINE. FOR THOSE FOR WHOM CLOWNING AROUND IS SERIOUS BUSINESS. * click the hat rack > DISREGARD THIS NONSENSE. Your DAD used this stuff sometimes to dazzle you with his silly vaudevillian escapades. Really, you couldn't roll your eyes hard enough at his corny act. * up and click the piano > OPERATE THIS INSTRUMENT. Showtime Haunting Piano Refrain Malcolm Brown Kevin Reganey Piano * click anywhere, the music will continue playing You play your favorite haunting refrain. * click the pipe to the left on top of the piano > IS THIS TOBACCO BURNING APPARATUS? Yuck. You still have pipe-taste in your mouth. * click the statue in the middle on top of the piano > THROW THIS UGLY THING OUT THE WINDOW. You will not do that intentionally! You only resort to throwing stuff out the window via SYLLADEX mismanagement. * click the statuen to the right on top of the piano > IT HAS A KNIFE. BE ALARMED BY THIS. R.I.P. Ledger. * click the painting on the wall to the right of the piano > THIS MAN IS AN IMBECILE. IGNORE HIM. He's alright. Looks like he doesn't take himself to seriously, and knows how to have a good time. You can only assume your DAD hung it crooked to make it look more 'whimsical'. * head right, click the window > LOOK HERE. * click anywhere It's dark out there. Can't see anything for miles. * further right, click the safe > OPEN THIS IRON VAULT, BOY. You don't know the combination!!! * click the statue on top of the safe > SEEK THE RICHES HE GUARDS BELOW. This one offers a friendly wave. But yeah, this is really just another stupid piece of shit. * click the painting above the safe > I SEE TREACHERY IN HIS EYES. Oh, he doesn't look so bad. * head all the way back around to the left, and click the lower opening > RETURN TO THE LARGE ROOM WITH THE GROSS PAINTINGS. * You are now back in the living room * click the diagonal doors to the left > THIS WAY. THROUGH THE DOORS LIKE YOU SEE IN A COWBOY SALOON. * You are now in the kitchen * no need to click the lower left arrow to ever return to the living room... > RETURN TO THE ROOM WITH THE DEAD HAG'S REMAINS. * to your left, click the plant > SNIFF VEGETABLE. Doesn't smell like anything. * click the book on the table > THIS BOOK IS TOO BIG FOR A YOUNG STUPID BOY. COLONEL SASSACRE'S is your favorite book! Almost as favorite as WISE GUY! They are both your favoritest of all time! * go to the far left, click the red box on the counter > SAMPLE POWDERED UNCOOKED DESSERT. Back ye miserable wench! Stay thy choking airborne particulates of temptation!!! * click the drawing stuck to the fridge door > EXAMINE THIS ARTWORK. * click anywhere Your DAD was so proud when you drew this. He hung it up immediately and it's stayed there ever since. That was one week ago. * click the bowl on the floor > PEEK IN BOWL OF GOO. Wherever your DAD went, he seems to have left in a hurry. For all his absurdities you have to put up with, you sure wish he were here right now. * click the telephone on the wall > THIS IS A TELEPHONE, BOY. USE IT. The phone doesn't work! * heading back right, click the black splat on the floor > EXAMINE THIS SMEARED SUBSTANCE. * John examines his finger, click anywhere Is this... Oil? You wonder what happened in here. Where's your DAD? * click the large furniture at the right of the kitchen > PLUNDER CHEST. Would you like to play a game? * click the door > OPEN THIS DOOR NOW. * You are now in the utility room * no need to click the lower left arrow to ever return to the kitchen... > GO BACK INTO THE LUNCHEON PARLOR. * click the machines to your left > THIS IS NO TIME FOR LAUNDRY. You're right. Thank you for being sensible about it. * click the cabinets to your right > OPEN THESE AND RIFLE THROUGH THEM FOR GOODS. You don't give a shit about what's in there! Probably nothing you'd be inclined to use now anyway. * click the door to the upper right > EXIT, BOY. * You are now outside * no need to click the front door to ever return inside... > BACK INTO THE HOUSE WITH YOU. * head up and left, click the box on the wall > ADMIRE THIS WALL-MOUNTED GADGET. Through some mysterious force, your house still seems to be powered, even though the wires are severed. Quite bizarre. * click the sparking wires > FIDDLE WITH THE BRIGHT SPARKLY THINGS. That sounds incredibly dangerous! John sensibly disregards your awful advice. * down and click the slimer ride > PONDER LAWN AMUSEMENT. Your childhood nemesis, the SPRING-MOUNTED POGO-RIDE, sadly was not swallowed by the void. It will have to wait another day for its comeuppance. * click the busted swing > BOY, ENGAGE THIS MANGLED TRAPESE-DISPLAY. Looks like your SWING SET is toast. You relive fond memories in a moment of sorrow. * head as far to the right as you can, click the handcuffs > CLAIM THE DANGLING TREE-BAUBLE. The TRICK HANDCUFFS are still there! THANK GOD. And no, you are not about to try to 'claim' them just now. * head back left * OK, now we're going to activate Trickster mode. Press CTRL + T. * now you can walk through any scenery! * stand by the front door and head upwards, climbing up to the chimney this is not SAFE * click the top of the chimney > SHENANIGANS * You are now in Problem Sleuth's secret room * click the desk > Make desk into fort and visit IMAGINATION LAND! Wow... ...So like... Where can I get some of YOUR drugs? * click the window > Unplug window ...It's a window... > Pick up window That is so infeasable it hurts me. * click the pumpkin on the upper left of the wall > WOAH, WHAT? THIS IS THE PUMPKIN? HOLYSHITHOLYSHITHOLYSHIT!!!!!!1111 No it's pumpkin shaped graffiti... GAME DEV FACTS: All Elements (but the pumpkin) drawn by Andrew Hussie in Photoshop, imported and subsequently vectorized, organized, named, and scripted by Alexis 'Gankro' Beingessner... Who is a guy...148 Objects, 538 lines, 140 bitmaps, 9 souls, 2 pumpkins, This line of code is 16732 characters... * click the safe on the wall > Retrieve arms from safe. You already HAVE arms stupid! > Shoot safe With what? > Open safe * ...returns you to outside the house. * there are some more little secrets: * in the top-right corner of the outside area Gankro Was Not Here * head left from the front door to the far wall, which has a pumpkin painted on it * in the grass is cut the pattern ----- ..--- ....- ----. .---- ...-- * which is morse code for 024913 * Sources: * http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=002153 - [S] YOU THERE. BOY. * http://www.mspaintadventures.com/storyfiles/hs2/00253/00253.swf * Generated by scripts and humans - corrections welcome! * http://readmspa.org/transcripts